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Lack of self-discipline is evident everywhere we look. Now why is that? People in general are very nice and hard working but why is it that when it comes to discipline, there are not many people who seemed to have a strong foundation of it?

I figured out that this whole society was built around short cuts. If something didn’t work for us in a short time, it was not worth it. I started seeing signs of it everywhere. Lose 30 lbs in 30 days, learn a new computer language in 24 hours, learn a completely new language in 30 days, build better abs in 5 minutes a day, develop a new habit in 21 days, tv dinners, build a Herculean body in 30 days, fast food restaurants and so on. Now, this is not the only reason that there is a lack of self-discipline but this was one of the biggest factors that I came across.

Hard work, patience, and discipline had taken a back seat. It seemed that people needed to know exactly how long it would take them to achieve a certain thing otherwise they would not start it, shorter the time better it is And marketers had realized that.

This was quite depressing and enlightening at the same time. It meant that it might be easy to succeed if only I would forget about the short cuts and make hard work and discipline my allies. Depressing because short cut way of life had gotten imbedded in my mind and I actually started looking for ways that I could become hard working in 30 days or less.

That is when I realized the first step before embarking on any self development journey. The biggest step, the most important step that many authors fail to mention!

The first step is to develop self discipline!

Nothing is more harmful to the service, than the neglect of discipline; for that discipline, more than numbers, gives one army superiority over another.” – George Washington

Self-Discipline divides boys from men, self-discipline enables you to achieve seemingly impossible goals, self-disciplines alone can move mountains!

Such a simple thing and yet such a secret. There are millions of self-help books and many of them quite profound. Yet most of them miss the very first and basic step in personal development. That is self-discipline.

In this self-discipline series, I am going to talk about how I came to realize the need for self-discipline, why there is such a lack of discipline these days, the benefits of self-discipline, and how to build self-discipline.

How I came to realize the importance of Self-Discipline

I have literally read hundreds of books on self help, listened to countless number of hours of audio books, attended many seminars. After reading any self help book, I would get really motivated and during that time I would set quite high goals for myself. During the times I was motivated it felt like I could do anything. I would start off really strong and within a few days things would get in the way and I would quit. That would make me feel much worst because I had failed once again. Now in my mind the thought that I was a failure just got reinforced by another failure. Then I would go into depression for a while until another book came along, or another seminar came along. Now I would go through the same cycle again.
Granted I would achieve some small goals during this time but nothing substantial, nothing solid that I could look back on proudly.
Finally, I asked myself why that was. I was reading the books and could recite almost all the books to anyone but I was no better than before. Actually I was feeling worst. My failure belief kept on getting stronger and stronger.

I thought all these people who were writing these books were fraud and were after only one thing, money! You know how it is! There are a lot of people willing to support your negative views because it puts the blame on something other than themselves. People pointed out to several authors who were bankrupt and were only making money selling their books. A lot of authors were turning out to be real and genuine frauds. People who could not improve their own lives by following their advice and yet were advising others. Like an overweight doctor telling you that extra weight is not good for you. Now the advise is sound but kind of hard to believe when coming from that doctor.
Now blaming others actually made me feel better. But that was not what I was after. I was after genuine happiness where I had total control of myself and my emotions. I just wanted to be happy no matter what the circumstances.

After a lot of soul searching I realized that I was at fault and not the books. I was not doing the exercises prescribed in those books. Then I asked myself why I wasn’t doing those exercises. It seemed like I had no faith in them. I wanted to be 100% sure that those exercises would work otherwise I just wouldn’t waste my time with them. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of people who think the same way. At least I was finding out more about myself. If I started following some exercises, after a while I would get so afraid that I was doing something wrong, that I was wasting my time with this when I could be using the same time to do something better, to do some exercises that actually worked. So, I would jump from one exercise to another without completing any exercise.

Now that I knew what was lacking, all I needed to do was to find a way to build my self-discipline and take over the world!

Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” – Lao Tzu

It all started with bodybuilding and reading about Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1988. I read his books with so much concentration that I could have burned a hole through the books. I read everything I could find about him or by him. I watched every documentary, every movie, every single thing that had any mention of him.

From his books I realized that we did not have to accept things as they were and we actually had the power to change every single aspect of our lives. I realized that anyone could become anything as long as they had the burning desire and the determination. He talked about using visualization, goals, desire, passion and determination. I remember reading about how he actually sneaked out of the army to compete in a bodybuilding contest and was put in jail while sneaking back in. Even that made him a hero in the army. The officers would say “look what Arnold did just for that bodybuilding contest, and you can’t do this for your country!” People said that a building could have fallen down but Arnold would have continued his workouts. That kind of desire and determination just fumed a fire inside me.

This was quite a revelation. I was brought up in an environment where majority of people believed that only the lucky ones ever got anywhere, that rich got richer and poor got poorer. That every single rich person got richer because of some crime because honesty did not make you rich. Some little hope is all I needed.

I had a burning desire to succeed. Things that people took for granted were luxuries for me and my family. Just having the fridge full of food was what I dreamt about in the beginning. If there was one honest person out there who actually succeeded, then I would succeed as well.

And so it began…

I heard the following when I was but a little kid. I never really thought of it much. It’s similar to the old saying we all probably remember “where there is a will, there is a way.”

Since we’ve all most likely heard that saying so many times in our lives it has lost its true meaning. Same thing happened with the following. Ever since I got involved in personal growth, I’ve realized and felt the power of this saying. I believe it is in Urdu. I will try to translate it the best I can.

Khudi ko kar Buland itna ki har taqdeer se pehle

Khuda bande se khud pooche ki bata teri raza kya hai

Translation: Make yourself so strong that before writing your destiny, even God asks you “tell me, what is your desire?”

My translation does not really do it justice but you can sort of feel the strength of it. Now every time I read it or hear it somewhere, it shakes me up from the inside. Imagine being so strong that even God asks you before writing your destiny. Now that’s power!

Whenever I read this poem I can not help but be motivated. In my opinion this is one of the most powerful poems that I have ever read. I believe this poem is written by Rudyard Kipling. Enjoy!

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

It requires a lot of will power, discipline, and above all integrity to live up to this poem. I just absolutely love it.