Downside of gossiping

Posted by Ricky
March 5, 2008

As I sat in my train to go to work this morning, a lady in front of me opened her newspaper to read. The page facing me was none other than the “GOSSIP COLUMN”. That’s law of attraction at work! Then I shook my head and looked around and I saw another newspaper with an ad “We pay BIG$$ for Celebrity Gossip!”

All this while I was listening to my tapes on the law of attraction. :-) It’s not like they were reading a newspaper solely based on gossip. It was filled with other news and articles but it seemed like wherever I turned, the word “gossip” flashed in my face.

In my previous article I mentioned the advantages of gossiping. After writing that article even I felt that gossiping was a good thing. In a way it can be as long as it is used sparingly but it is quite easy to lose control. It’s like having ice cream. If you eat a little bit now and then you actually enjoy the process without harming yourself. If you indulge in it a little too frequently, well then you start noticing some changes in your body, especially around the belly. ;-)

I have found that gossip does a lot more harm than good. Following are some of the ways gossiping can hurt.

People get judged based on their reputation (rumoured)

How many times have you judged someone based on their reputation without even giving them a fair chance? You usually see this in schools. If a “cool” kid spreads some rumour about someone, that rumour is likely to be believed and that someone is likely to be excluded from the group. There are some really good people that are never even given a chance to prove themselves because someone spread some rumour about them.

Gossiping can ruin friendships

Have you ever lost a friend because you could not keep your mouth shut? How about the other way around? Have you had to give up good friendships because you found out that your friend was spreading rumours about you or just revealing your secrets to other friends?

Gossip can eradicate trust

Sometimes you find out that your friend has betrayed your trust by making your private affairs public. If it’s a minor thing and your friend is genuinely sorry you may forgive him but would you ever trust him again? If someone breaks your trust once, are you able to trust them again? It takes a lifetime to build trust and just one occurrence to break it!

Rumours hurt

When you get physical injury it can heal but emotional pain takes much longer to heal. Sometimes it never heals. Gossip can leave emotional scars. A person who was excluded from their childhood because of gossip and rumours can easily be carrying that pain, that hurt well into adulthood. You never know how sensitive a person is and how much pain your one little joke about that person can cause them.

Gossip can lower your self-esteem

As mentioned before, when a certain rumour has been spread about you, you are often judged based on that. Let us say that someone is not a good worker or is just new to the job and is learning the ropes. Most people would understand that and help this person out but there are a few who would start telling tales about that person. How that person is incompetent, how he should be working as a junior and so on.

If these stories are contained within this job then it might be all right but it is not unlikely to see this person getting refused for a different job because of this gossip. Some industries are small where reputation is everything and in such an industry if one gets bad reputation, deserved or undeserved, it is very hard to fix it. It is possible that by this point this person has actually become quite competent at his job. If such a person gets a new job, he’s treated like he does not know anything. That can affect a person’s self-esteem to a point where they start to believe that they are not good enough. A lot of people crave approval from others and when they don’t receive it, their self-esteem suffers. Their identity is tied to the receiving others’ approval.

Like I mentioned before, I have seen friendships lost and good people getting hurt because someone decided to spread some small rumour. No matter what the advantages of gossiping, it is just not worth it!

Also keep in mind that if a person talks about someone else with you, you can be pretty sure they will talk about you when you turn around. This is one good thing I found about gossiping. It is a good indicator on who to trust and who not to.

Just for an experiment I am going to see how many times either I gossip or I am part of a gossiping session. :-)

This is part four of the series on gossiping:

  1. Gossip: Can’t live with it and can’t live without it
  2. Why do people gossip?
  3. Advantages of gossiping
  4. Downside of gossiping
  5. Are you a tattler, a busybody, a gossiper?

Related posts:

Self Acceptance

Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.

Comments

No comments yet.

Leave a comment