Comments on: Challenges with affirmations http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/ Self Development Blog Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:42:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Ricky http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-1040 Ricky Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:42:59 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-1040 So it seems. :-) It was still good lesson for me to go through it. After interacting with people like those for a good part of my life at least I can always keep myself in check to make sure I don't end up being like that. So it seems. :-) It was still good lesson for me to go through it. After interacting with people like those for a good part of my life at least I can always keep myself in check to make sure I don’t end up being like that.

]]> By: Terry http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-1039 Terry Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:11:29 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-1039 Nancy - it's good that you realize this. Self realization is the first step (and the hardest I would say). Ricky - when people try their hardest to convince you of something and put you down in the process to prove their point, then that is a good indication that person themself is extremely insecure and has a need for controlling people. Nancy – it’s good that you realize this. Self realization is the first step (and the hardest I would say).

Ricky – when people try their hardest to convince you of something and put you down in the process to prove their point, then that is a good indication that person themself is extremely insecure and has a need for controlling people.

]]> By: Ricky http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-1038 Ricky Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:30:58 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-1038 @Terry - Sorry Terry I totally missed your comment before. It's a very good example you've given. Thanks. There are a lot of newly immigrate kids who end up feeling insecure because of the language barrier. A good teacher that understands these issues is very important in those cases otherwise these kids may carry these same insecurities into their adult lives. I've also found that people who really know a lot about a subject tend not to be arrogant but rather humble. And it's actually a pleasure to listen to them because they do not put you down even though you might be totally wrong. But people who're constantly putting you down in order to build themselves up are the same people who're still trying to prove to themselves that they are right. So, you're right, it's insecurity on their part. @Nancy - I'm very impressed that you've actually recognized that about yourself. Even more impressive is the fact that you're actually doing something about it i.e. letting others put forth their ideas even though they might be wrong. This way you actually extract best ideas out of everyone without anyone having to fear that they might be judged. Sign of a good leader! @Terry – Sorry Terry I totally missed your comment before. It’s a very good example you’ve given. Thanks.
There are a lot of newly immigrate kids who end up feeling insecure because of the language barrier. A good teacher that understands these issues is very important in those cases otherwise these kids may carry these same insecurities into their adult lives.
I’ve also found that people who really know a lot about a subject tend not to be arrogant but rather humble. And it’s actually a pleasure to listen to them because they do not put you down even though you might be totally wrong.
But people who’re constantly putting you down in order to build themselves up are the same people who’re still trying to prove to themselves that they are right. So, you’re right, it’s insecurity on their part.

@Nancy – I’m very impressed that you’ve actually recognized that about yourself. Even more impressive is the fact that you’re actually doing something about it i.e. letting others put forth their ideas even though they might be wrong.
This way you actually extract best ideas out of everyone without anyone having to fear that they might be judged.
Sign of a good leader!

]]> By: Nancy http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-1036 Nancy Mon, 24 Aug 2009 10:44:50 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-1036 Hi Terry, I am afraid that I am one of those people who is "sure" of my thinking and my intuition and I know that it can be "off-putting" to say the least. I try to keep quiet in a group discussion so that others can feel comfortable to put forth their ideas. I am not always successful. I would hope that if you have something to say, you could say with a smile, "Hey, could someone else have a chance to say something here?" My belief is that a better decision is made by a group than by an individual, so I do want to hear from everyone. I always make sure when I am running a group, that I include everyone, but when I am in a group, or with friends, if someone else asks a question.... Anyway, thanks for your reminder. It was important for me to hear just how far you are willing to go to get away from those "who think they know everything." - Nancy Hi Terry,
I am afraid that I am one of those people who is “sure” of my thinking and my intuition and I know that it can be “off-putting” to say the least. I try to keep quiet in a group discussion so that others can feel comfortable to put forth their ideas. I am not always successful.

I would hope that if you have something to say, you could say with a smile, “Hey, could someone else have a chance to say something here?”

My belief is that a better decision is made by a group than by an individual, so I do want to hear from everyone. I always make sure when I am running a group, that I include everyone, but when I am in a group, or with friends, if someone else asks a question….

Anyway, thanks for your reminder. It was important for me to hear just how far you are willing to go to get away from those “who think they know everything.”

- Nancy

]]> By: Terry http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-864 Terry Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:04:00 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-864 Very neat point about different languages. It's like when people immigrate to, let's say Canada, in math class they may say 'if you have a pie cut into 8 pieces and you give a quarter to your friend, how many pieces of pie do you have left?' the equation might be simple but the kid may not understand what a 'pie' is because they don't make pies in some countries! As for weeding out particular 'friends' in your life, it is important to get rid of the ones that are extremely arrogant, and think they know everything and postulate that 24/7 & don't realize at all how cocky they are. Those type of people generally will heighten your insecurity because they will always put you down because they themselves are insecure but don't realize it. Very neat point about different languages. It’s like when people immigrate to, let’s say Canada, in math class they may say ‘if you have a pie cut into 8 pieces and you give a quarter to your friend, how many pieces of pie do you have left?’ the equation might be simple but the kid may not understand what a ‘pie’ is because they don’t make pies in some countries!

As for weeding out particular ‘friends’ in your life, it is important to get rid of the ones that are extremely arrogant, and think they know everything and postulate that 24/7 & don’t realize at all how cocky they are. Those type of people generally will heighten your insecurity because they will always put you down because they themselves are insecure but don’t realize it.

]]> By: CP http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-858 CP Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:51:06 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-858 My point exactly. You need to be quite precise when you use the term friend. A friend isn't much more than this: 1. someone who is always there for you 2. someone who will not lie to you or be afraid to give it to you straight 3. someone you have fun with because there is inherent trust (i.e. not the way you have fun with co-workers for instance, where you have to watch what you say) What you have are acquaintances with different attributes, not friends with different qualities. My point exactly. You need to be quite precise when you use the term friend.
A friend isn’t much more than this:
1. someone who is always there for you
2. someone who will not lie to you or be afraid to give it to you straight
3. someone you have fun with because there is inherent trust (i.e. not the way you have fun with co-workers for instance, where you have to watch what you say)
What you have are acquaintances with different attributes, not friends with different qualities.

]]> By: Ricky http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-855 Ricky Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:14:24 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-855 So, what is a friend? Is a friend who is there for you whenever you need him? Or is a friend who encourages you to be the best that you can be? Or is a friend who's always there for you emotionally and financially but because of his innate need to prove himself also keeps reminding you that he's right and you're wrong? Or is a friend who's always there for you emotionally but, because of his need for approval, in front of others will put you down? Or is a friend someone that you've just known ever since you were a kid and you're attached because of history? Or is a friend someone who's always there to listen to you and offer his ear but then use that knowledge later on to keep an upper hand on you? Because I have different friends with all of these qualities. :-) You see it's a very loosely used term. These days, I try to associate with people who make me feel good by being around them. That doesn't mean feeling good by doing drugs or alcohol. That also doesn' t mean people who're nice, polite in front but back stabbing when I turn around. But genuinely nice and positive people who encourage me and are on the same path as me. So, what is a friend? Is a friend who is there for you whenever you need him? Or is a friend who encourages you to be the best that you can be? Or is a friend who’s always there for you emotionally and financially but because of his innate need to prove himself also keeps reminding you that he’s right and you’re wrong? Or is a friend who’s always there for you emotionally but, because of his need for approval, in front of others will put you down? Or is a friend someone that you’ve just known ever since you were a kid and you’re attached because of history? Or is a friend someone who’s always there to listen to you and offer his ear but then use that knowledge later on to keep an upper hand on you? Because I have different friends with all of these qualities. :-)
You see it’s a very loosely used term.
These days, I try to associate with people who make me feel good by being around them. That doesn’t mean feeling good by doing drugs or alcohol. That also doesn’ t mean people who’re nice, polite in front but back stabbing when I turn around. But genuinely nice and positive people who encourage me and are on the same path as me.

]]> By: CP http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-854 CP Wed, 15 Jul 2009 21:36:37 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-854 I'm not sure that you got my point. If you feel that people are correct in assuming they're better than you, then, at that moment, you can't compete with that notion. If someone challenged you to a literal arm wrestle at that moment, your negativity would defeat you, therefore they are better than you. I suppose it's worth injecting a plug for 'Over the Top', a good Stallone movie from the 80s. As for your weeding out your friends, you just need to be more careful with that term, and what you call a friend. It's comforting to hear yourself say that you have lots of friends, but that term should refer to more than just people you spend a lot of time with. I’m not sure that you got my point. If you feel that people are correct in assuming they’re better than you, then, at that moment, you can’t compete with that notion. If someone challenged you to a literal arm wrestle at that moment, your negativity would defeat you, therefore they are better than you. I suppose it’s worth injecting a plug for ‘Over the Top’, a good Stallone movie from the 80s.

As for your weeding out your friends, you just need to be more careful with that term, and what you call a friend. It’s comforting to hear yourself say that you have lots of friends, but that term should refer to more than just people you spend a lot of time with.

]]> By: Ricky http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-848 Ricky Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:22:14 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-848 Friends are already being weeded out. :-) Friends are already being weeded out. :-)

]]> By: CP http://www.kensray.com/2009/06/challenges-with-affirmations/comment-page-1/#comment-841 CP Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:12:38 +0000 http://www.kensray.com/?p=238#comment-841 Interesting point. Guess what: when you felt that everyone was better than you, you were right. However, when you feel that people are taking you for granted, where I assume you just mean that they were taking advantage of you, that just means you need to weed out your 'friends'. Interesting point. Guess what: when you felt that everyone was better than you, you were right. However, when you feel that people are taking you for granted, where I assume you just mean that they were taking advantage of you, that just means you need to weed out your ‘friends’.

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