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Over the past few months I’d been trying to create new habits using different methods. Just to see which method would work and which method was the easiest to implement and continue with.

Write for my blog every single day

I started writing using Google documents. Every single day I would write for about 5-10 minutes towards a certain topic. After a few days I would spend the same amount of time to review what I had written and then post it on the blog. I would do it just before going to bed. Thus, going to bed was my trigger.

It worked beautifully until one day I decided to write on good and old paper instead of using my laptop, as my laptop was hooked to my television.

It was fine that day and I continued it for the next few days but eventually it died down. And before I realized it, already more than week had gone by without me writing anything.

Usually in the past I would have felt very bad that I couldn’t discipline myself and it would have kept reinforcing the belief that I was a failure.

This time, however, it was different. There was no reinforcing of any negative belief. There was no negative belief in fact! I was easily able to step back and analyze why I was not able to create that particular habit.

It came down to two things.

1. Convenience – When I would write using Google documents, on my laptop, it was easy for me to just copy and paste onto my blog. Meanwhile, when I had started writing on a piece of paper, it became quite cumbersome, or felt like it, to have to copy it again onto the blog. Also, when I started writing on a piece of paper it was easy for me to let my focus wander, writing about one thing today and totally different the next day.
2. Not having a strong enough reason for me to continue writing – I’ve found this to be quite a problem, as I mentioned previously. If I’m doing something for the sake of disciplining myself, it’s quite easy to fall out of it. On the other hand if there’s a strong enough reason for me to do something, I continue despite any obstacles.

Has anyone else found a better way to create habits? What are your experiences?

Here’s an example of a habit I am trying to develop:

Habit of running on a regular basis.

Note, this time my goal is not necessarily to walk/jog/run for 21 or 30 days or so. My goal is to improve my stamina.

I run out of breath even if I have to run for 20 metres, or if I have to climb 20 stairs. So much so that I can not talk and it takes me quite a while to catch my breath.

This was to be a life long habit! As having good stamina helps in a lot of different aspects of life. That’s why it was necessary for me to develop a habit of regularly running first! Once I had developed the habit, then I could go ahead and try to perfect my technique.

Trick is to start slowly! Sooo ridiculously slow that you’d feel silly to skip a day. And do each step every single day! Remember the point is to develop a habit first! That can only really be done by consistency!

Week 1 – wear shoes, dress up, get out the door and then come back in

Week 2 – get dressed and go down the elevator and then come back up

Week 3 – walk 5 mins (could be on the treadmill in the gym in my building, or a walk outside)

Week 4 – walk for 10 mins

Week 5 – walk for 15 mins

Week 6 – walk for 15 mins with 2 30 sec jogs thrown in, so could be walk for 7 mins, jog for 30 secs, walk for another 7 mins, jog for another 30 secs, walk for another 5 mins for a total or 20 mins

Week 7 – walk for 20 mins with 4 30 sec jogs thrown in

Week 8 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 30 sec, then repeat until 20 mins are up

Week 9 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 2 mins, repeat until 20 mins are up

I could not complete week 9 properly due to low carb diet I was trying during the same time. I had incredible lack of energy during that period. So much so that I felt faint on many occasions even after 5 minutes of walking, even though I was eating a lot and drinking a lot of water. I was just careful to limit my carbohydrates.

Anyhow, had to stop mid way for a few days because of my diet experiment (more on that later). Following week I started again but I felt I had lost my rhythm.

I still wanted to build stamina though so started researching different ways of improving it.

Came across High intensity interval training (HIIT). This really appealed to me.

Basically, you jog for a few minutes, then go all out sprinting for 15-30 seconds, then light jog again until heart rate comes down, then sprint again and so on.

Week 9: total time 10 mins; with 2 30 sec 8 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 10: total time 10-15 mins; with 2 30 sec 9.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 11: total time 15+ mins; with 3 15 sec 10.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Instead of following a strict regiment of jogging for 2 mins, then sprinting for 30 secs, I just sprint for 15-30 secs then wait for my heart rate to come below 140 then I sprint again, whether that’s with in 2 mins or 4 mins.

I’m finding that it’s hard to really sprint very fast on a treadmill. I feel like I am going to fall down!

So, next session I’ll try HIIT outside!

“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.” – Unknown author

What if you are an ambitious person? What if you have learned to motivate yourself? What if you are a goal oriented person? What if you are getting your life back on track? What if you have started earning a decent income? What if your credit rating is improving? What if your debt is finally being paid off? And what if you do not even gossip anymore?

Then you realize that something somewhere is missing. You set more goals, improve some areas of your life and yet a little voice inside your head keeping nagging you. To make sure you discipline yourself you try to be more efficient, you manage time better, you get more work done.

Then you get sick! You ignore it and hoping that if you just work through it, it’ll just go away. That’s not the case. It gets worse. You finally decide to take one day off of work to rest and get better. Now you’re better and you are back on track.

Instead of taking that as a warning you go at full speed again and the same cycle repeats next month.

That’s been the story of my life for the past six months or so. I started noticing that every single month I was getting sick. I even started doing cardio every single morning but the next month I got sick again. I finally started taking vitamin C but again I got sick. I am eating almost 100% diet consisting of organic foods. So, what is the problem?!!

It is not that I mind getting sick. It’s just that it slows me down quite a bit. Also, I am on a contract so I get paid for the time I am at work. If I have to take a day off at work, either I lose the pay for that month or make up that time.

Finally I started taking one a day multi-vitamin and vitamin C. This month again I felt the fever coming on but I was able to fight it and I did not need to take a day off work. So, I think the combination of multi-vitamins and vitamin C is doing the trick.

Granted that I sometimes skip breakfast but overall I am still eating at least 3 meals a day. I have come to the conclusion that even though diet plays a major role in keeping you healthy, it’s not the only thing. I think your state of mind plays an even bigger role. If you are not unconditionally happy then your health suffer regardless of how good your diet is.

“Preserving the health by too strict a regimen is a wearisome malady.” – François Duc de la Rochefoucauld

I think I have been a little too strict with my diet. I have been eating a diet of the foods that I do not actually enjoy. I never really look forward to any meal. I am just having meals because it’s what I should be doing and I get hungry. I am going to start having more of the things that I actually enjoy. I do not eat unhealthy anyways so I think I do not have to worry about getting fat etc.

It’s not just that I am eating really healthy food that I do not enjoy it’s also the poverty consciousness. When I did not have enough money I would buy foods that were the cheapest regardless of what happened to my health. I would look for the special deals and the cheapest deals were always at McDonalds, Wendy’s, Taco Bell and so on. If I was at a coffee shop I would just get the tea because it was cheaper than coffee and also drinking tea killed the appetite so I did not need to buy food. All of this ruined my health as well.

That is actually exciting! I seem to have found the cause of my bad health. I am going to have food that I really enjoy regardless of the cost. If I really feel like having something then I am going to have it. I get really excited when I set new goals. So, I am going to set some new and different goals now. Looks like another 30 day challenge is coming up. I will keep you posted.

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

Motivation is an essential ingredient of success. Most of the time when we fail to achieve our goals is because our motivation fire burns out. The challenge is always trying to stay motivated until our goals are achieved. I have found one way to stay motivated is to continuously read motivational quotes.

Now how does that apply to gossiping? As you go through your day and meet the people you regularly meet there is a chance you may slip back into your old behavior of gossiping. Everyone knows you by who you were before you started off on this no gossiping pilgrimage. If you were a gossiper, then people expect certain responses and stories from you. When all of a sudden you stop that they are bound to suspect something. You can play it cool and just seem interested in all the gossip without really contributing and I can tell you that this works quite well.

There will be times that you will get very frustrated with someone. Maybe someone’s taken credit for the work you’ve done, or you’ve just found out that someone has been bad mouthing you behind your back, or you just feel like gossiping. At times like these you have to remember your goals! It’s times like these that divide boys from men. This is where you should muster enough will power to get your back on track.

I have collected a list of quotations about gossiping which I found to be very helpful in reminding me of my goals and why I stopped gossiping in the first place. Here they are. Hope you enjoy them and can find them motivating you to stop gossiping as well.

“When of a gossiping circle it was asked, What are they doing? The answer was , Swapping lies.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.” – Jewish Proverb

“Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers

“What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.” – Chinese Proverb

“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.” – Irish saying

“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends – you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller

“He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still the deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.” – Mark Twain

“When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.” – Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” – Bertrand Russell

“ The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.” – Frank A. Clark

“The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and the narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik

“It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people’s business.” – Dolley Madison

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” – Richard Steele, Sr.

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.” – Erica Jong

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn

“Journalism is organized gossip.” – Edward Eggleston

“Who brings a tale takes two away.” – Irish Proverb

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” – Lisa Kirk

“ The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.” – Napoleon I, Maxims

“Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.” – Earl Wilson

“The biggest liar in the world is They Say.” – Douglas Malloch

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” – Benjamin Franklin

To say that the past seven days have been an eye opener would be an under statement. I really enjoyed going without gossiping. In my previous posts I mentioned that it was becoming easier to stay without gossiping. In the past few days I’ve noticed the opposite.

Up until day 4 of this challenge I was feeling very good through out the day and felt annoyed if someone wanted to get me involved in any kind of gossip. On days 5, 6 and 7 I felt inclined to gossip. It was like this strong force urging me to go ahead and gossip. It’s like an addiction! If you are trying to give up chocolate for instance, sometimes all you want is a little piece, that’s all!

I think it might be due to getting frustrated with work and certain people. Also, gossip around me was going overwhelming and it would have taken me back into the vicious circle if I hadn’t relied heavily on my will power. It took a lot of discipline to stay on course but I really enjoyed it. Like trying to give up smoking and still going out for smoke breaks with your smoke buddies. It makes it just a little bit more challenging.

Overall I think this habit is a keeper. I am going to go ahead and adopt this habit. It feels wonderful to live without criticizing and bad mouthing people. Even before I wasn’t that bad but still this is the better me.

Another side benefit of this challenge is that I have started to treat people differently. If someone on another team makes a mistake, instead of criticizing and complaining, now I understand that they’re humans after all and mistakes happen. Then I just move on. No whining, no complaining, no gossiping!