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Here’s an example of a habit I am trying to develop:

Habit of running on a regular basis.

Note, this time my goal is not necessarily to walk/jog/run for 21 or 30 days or so. My goal is to improve my stamina.

I run out of breath even if I have to run for 20 metres, or if I have to climb 20 stairs. So much so that I can not talk and it takes me quite a while to catch my breath.

This was to be a life long habit! As having good stamina helps in a lot of different aspects of life. That’s why it was necessary for me to develop a habit of regularly running first! Once I had developed the habit, then I could go ahead and try to perfect my technique.

Trick is to start slowly! Sooo ridiculously slow that you’d feel silly to skip a day. And do each step every single day! Remember the point is to develop a habit first! That can only really be done by consistency!

Week 1 – wear shoes, dress up, get out the door and then come back in

Week 2 – get dressed and go down the elevator and then come back up

Week 3 – walk 5 mins (could be on the treadmill in the gym in my building, or a walk outside)

Week 4 – walk for 10 mins

Week 5 – walk for 15 mins

Week 6 – walk for 15 mins with 2 30 sec jogs thrown in, so could be walk for 7 mins, jog for 30 secs, walk for another 7 mins, jog for another 30 secs, walk for another 5 mins for a total or 20 mins

Week 7 – walk for 20 mins with 4 30 sec jogs thrown in

Week 8 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 30 sec, then repeat until 20 mins are up

Week 9 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 2 mins, repeat until 20 mins are up

I could not complete week 9 properly due to low carb diet I was trying during the same time. I had incredible lack of energy during that period. So much so that I felt faint on many occasions even after 5 minutes of walking, even though I was eating a lot and drinking a lot of water. I was just careful to limit my carbohydrates.

Anyhow, had to stop mid way for a few days because of my diet experiment (more on that later). Following week I started again but I felt I had lost my rhythm.

I still wanted to build stamina though so started researching different ways of improving it.

Came across High intensity interval training (HIIT). This really appealed to me.

Basically, you jog for a few minutes, then go all out sprinting for 15-30 seconds, then light jog again until heart rate comes down, then sprint again and so on.

Week 9: total time 10 mins; with 2 30 sec 8 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 10: total time 10-15 mins; with 2 30 sec 9.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 11: total time 15+ mins; with 3 15 sec 10.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Instead of following a strict regiment of jogging for 2 mins, then sprinting for 30 secs, I just sprint for 15-30 secs then wait for my heart rate to come below 140 then I sprint again, whether that’s with in 2 mins or 4 mins.

I’m finding that it’s hard to really sprint very fast on a treadmill. I feel like I am going to fall down!

So, next session I’ll try HIIT outside!

When I was younger I used to drive at really high speeds. I’m sure everyone’s gone through that. Going over 200km/h on the highways was not unusual for me. Even on normal streets where the speed limit was 50-60km/h, driving over 120 km/h was also quite usual for me.

Those times have passed and I have calmed down except for sudden bursts on the highway every once in a while.

One thing I learned while driving at really high speeds is the concentration it required. I was totally concentrating on driving and I was in the “zone” as it’s called.

I was totally concentrating on driving and could not afford to think about anything else. And because of that my driving was much better!

My mind was racing at such high speed as well and making decisions with lightning speed. My reflexes were much faster and I was going through traffic with incredible calm. I was driving much better and much safer than I do when I drive at normal speed limits.

That is the same thing with setting goals. If we set small and miniscule goals, our concentration is all over the place. We work on our goals for a minutes here and there and work on some other stuff and watch tv and chit chat with friends and so on. Before we know it, the whole day’s gone by and we complain about not having enough time.

When we set huuuuuge and scary goals for ourselves and totally commit to achieving them, we do not have time to think about anything else, nor do we have time to just hang out or engage in idle chit chat.

And once we enter that total concentration zone that’s when magic begins to happen. We start achieving incredible results. Things we never thought we could do before, we start doing easily and we seem to accomplish all of this in the same amount of time.

Now please do not go out there trying this experiment of driving at high speeds. It’s incredibly foolish and a stupid thing to do. You may easily hurt yourself or someone else so do not engage in that.

If you do want to drive at fast speeds then go to a track and do it. There are a lot of tracks where you can take your car for a day for a small fee and drive however you feel like driving but just don’t do it on normal roads!

But do try and set goals that require you to stretch beyond your comfort zone! Think about what it is that you want and totally commit yourself to it. Just test it out! It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, just something that might require your total concentration. Do that and see how it feels!

“Aim at the sun and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if you had aimed at an object on a level with yourself.” – F. Hawes

Motivation is an essential ingredient of success. Most of the time when we fail to achieve our goals is because our motivation fire burns out. The challenge is always trying to stay motivated until our goals are achieved. I have found one way to stay motivated is to continuously read motivational quotes.

Now how does that apply to gossiping? As you go through your day and meet the people you regularly meet there is a chance you may slip back into your old behavior of gossiping. Everyone knows you by who you were before you started off on this no gossiping pilgrimage. If you were a gossiper, then people expect certain responses and stories from you. When all of a sudden you stop that they are bound to suspect something. You can play it cool and just seem interested in all the gossip without really contributing and I can tell you that this works quite well.

There will be times that you will get very frustrated with someone. Maybe someone’s taken credit for the work you’ve done, or you’ve just found out that someone has been bad mouthing you behind your back, or you just feel like gossiping. At times like these you have to remember your goals! It’s times like these that divide boys from men. This is where you should muster enough will power to get your back on track.

I have collected a list of quotations about gossiping which I found to be very helpful in reminding me of my goals and why I stopped gossiping in the first place. Here they are. Hope you enjoy them and can find them motivating you to stop gossiping as well.

“When of a gossiping circle it was asked, What are they doing? The answer was , Swapping lies.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.” – Jewish Proverb

“Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers

“What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.” – Chinese Proverb

“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.” – Irish saying

“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends – you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller

“He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still the deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.” – Mark Twain

“When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.” – Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” – Bertrand Russell

“ The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.” – Frank A. Clark

“The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and the narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik

“It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people’s business.” – Dolley Madison

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” – Richard Steele, Sr.

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.” – Erica Jong

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn

“Journalism is organized gossip.” – Edward Eggleston

“Who brings a tale takes two away.” – Irish Proverb

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” – Lisa Kirk

“ The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.” – Napoleon I, Maxims

“Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.” – Earl Wilson

“The biggest liar in the world is They Say.” – Douglas Malloch

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” – Benjamin Franklin

To say that the past seven days have been an eye opener would be an under statement. I really enjoyed going without gossiping. In my previous posts I mentioned that it was becoming easier to stay without gossiping. In the past few days I’ve noticed the opposite.

Up until day 4 of this challenge I was feeling very good through out the day and felt annoyed if someone wanted to get me involved in any kind of gossip. On days 5, 6 and 7 I felt inclined to gossip. It was like this strong force urging me to go ahead and gossip. It’s like an addiction! If you are trying to give up chocolate for instance, sometimes all you want is a little piece, that’s all!

I think it might be due to getting frustrated with work and certain people. Also, gossip around me was going overwhelming and it would have taken me back into the vicious circle if I hadn’t relied heavily on my will power. It took a lot of discipline to stay on course but I really enjoyed it. Like trying to give up smoking and still going out for smoke breaks with your smoke buddies. It makes it just a little bit more challenging.

Overall I think this habit is a keeper. I am going to go ahead and adopt this habit. It feels wonderful to live without criticizing and bad mouthing people. Even before I wasn’t that bad but still this is the better me.

Another side benefit of this challenge is that I have started to treat people differently. If someone on another team makes a mistake, instead of criticizing and complaining, now I understand that they’re humans after all and mistakes happen. Then I just move on. No whining, no complaining, no gossiping!

I used to wonder about people who achieved great success. I wanted to know exactly how they thought, what they felt and how they would approach goals differently than average people.

Once I was listening to Mike Ferry, real estate trainer, and he said that there were three things in life that if you could do those, you could do anything. That was a really exciting time for me since now I was going to find out the real secret and yardstick by which I could measure myself. Following were the three things according to him:

1) keep your house clean

2) manage your health

3) manage your finances

I have to say that I was a little disappointed. I expected something out of this world. I was ready with the right emotions and expressions, ready to stand up in awe and applaud but I was a little under whelmed by his statement.

He went onto challenge people to try it out. All I have to say is that I am still trying it out. It just seems easy at first glance but every single one of these is very challenging. Take for instance the discipline required to keep your house clean. There is just so much involved even in keeping the house clean day by day, every single day. If you break down the topic of health and finances you can realize how difficult this really is.

But since time is passing anyways, may as well get started. Slowly but surely we can achieve success in these areas. One small step at a time. With each small step successfully accomplished we will definitely be better off than we are now.

If we do not choose our goals, life will choose them for us. And it is a very exciting journey.

Like Earl Nightingale used to say “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”