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Motivation is an essential ingredient of success. Most of the time when we fail to achieve our goals is because our motivation fire burns out. The challenge is always trying to stay motivated until our goals are achieved. I have found one way to stay motivated is to continuously read motivational quotes.

Now how does that apply to gossiping? As you go through your day and meet the people you regularly meet there is a chance you may slip back into your old behavior of gossiping. Everyone knows you by who you were before you started off on this no gossiping pilgrimage. If you were a gossiper, then people expect certain responses and stories from you. When all of a sudden you stop that they are bound to suspect something. You can play it cool and just seem interested in all the gossip without really contributing and I can tell you that this works quite well.

There will be times that you will get very frustrated with someone. Maybe someone’s taken credit for the work you’ve done, or you’ve just found out that someone has been bad mouthing you behind your back, or you just feel like gossiping. At times like these you have to remember your goals! It’s times like these that divide boys from men. This is where you should muster enough will power to get your back on track.

I have collected a list of quotations about gossiping which I found to be very helpful in reminding me of my goals and why I stopped gossiping in the first place. Here they are. Hope you enjoy them and can find them motivating you to stop gossiping as well.

“When of a gossiping circle it was asked, What are they doing? The answer was , Swapping lies.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.” – Jewish Proverb

“Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers

“What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.” – Chinese Proverb

“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.” – Irish saying

“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends – you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller

“He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still the deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.” – Mark Twain

“When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.” – Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” – Bertrand Russell

“ The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.” – Frank A. Clark

“The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and the narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik

“It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people’s business.” – Dolley Madison

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” – Richard Steele, Sr.

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.” – Erica Jong

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn

“Journalism is organized gossip.” – Edward Eggleston

“Who brings a tale takes two away.” – Irish Proverb

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” – Lisa Kirk

“ The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.” – Napoleon I, Maxims

“Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.” – Earl Wilson

“The biggest liar in the world is They Say.” – Douglas Malloch

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” – Benjamin Franklin

To say that the past seven days have been an eye opener would be an under statement. I really enjoyed going without gossiping. In my previous posts I mentioned that it was becoming easier to stay without gossiping. In the past few days I’ve noticed the opposite.

Up until day 4 of this challenge I was feeling very good through out the day and felt annoyed if someone wanted to get me involved in any kind of gossip. On days 5, 6 and 7 I felt inclined to gossip. It was like this strong force urging me to go ahead and gossip. It’s like an addiction! If you are trying to give up chocolate for instance, sometimes all you want is a little piece, that’s all!

I think it might be due to getting frustrated with work and certain people. Also, gossip around me was going overwhelming and it would have taken me back into the vicious circle if I hadn’t relied heavily on my will power. It took a lot of discipline to stay on course but I really enjoyed it. Like trying to give up smoking and still going out for smoke breaks with your smoke buddies. It makes it just a little bit more challenging.

Overall I think this habit is a keeper. I am going to go ahead and adopt this habit. It feels wonderful to live without criticizing and bad mouthing people. Even before I wasn’t that bad but still this is the better me.

Another side benefit of this challenge is that I have started to treat people differently. If someone on another team makes a mistake, instead of criticizing and complaining, now I understand that they’re humans after all and mistakes happen. Then I just move on. No whining, no complaining, no gossiping!

Now I know that gossip is looked upon as an evil thing even though most people succumb to it. There has to be a reason why. When I started digging for the truth I actually found several advantages of gossiping.

Several of these have already been mentioned in my previous article on why people gossip. Here are some of the advantages that I have come across:

• A person who can gossip effectively and with different type of people is often well liked and accepted. There is always someone to talk about (although such a person is also talked about behind their back but that’s besides the point).
• Such a person can always carry conversations with anyone
• By gossiping effectively, you can find out secrets about other people
• There is no smoke without fire. If you were to listen to the gossip, even after throwing out much of the emotion of the person gossiping, you can actually learn something about the topic, whether it be another, office politics, promotions, or demotions and so on
• As gossip is often used by weak people it can actually be harmless as long as it stays between a few friends of the weak. For example, a person is brutally ridiculed and talked down to in a gathering by another stronger, perhaps arrogant person. Now the victim may go out and bad mouth the stronger person to his friends and often that is enough to ease the anger and hurt. If such was not the case, if the victim actually feeling hurt held onto this humiliation and had not shared it with anyone, he could literally blow up as seen sometimes. It is much better not to hold onto these negative feelings as they do much more harm to you than the person who inflicted them in the first place
• Our understanding of the world and people in it is sometimes enhanced by gossip
• Like mentioned before, Gossip sells. There are actually hundreds of thousands of people employed around the world to gather gossip for magazines and newspapers. There is a whole market out there that is willing to pay a fair price for good gossip or rumour. What if gossiping was totally eliminated? Imagine how many people would lose their jobs?!
• People who are good at gossiping are often very creative people. They do not just talk about other people, they actually turn their gossip into a very entertaining story. For such people, gossiping is the only place where they actually are able to employ their creative selves
• You can tell a lot about a person by listening to him for a short while. If the person talks about someone else, you can be pretty sure he will talk about you as soon as you turn around. At least this is one good way to keep track of what to say and to whom
• This is the only thing that is universal across all cultures. You can go anywhere and as long as you can gossip effectively and carefully, you will find friends

Well, there you have it. It just makes me want to gossip now!

This is part three of the series on gossiping:

1. Gossip: Can’t live with it and can’t live without it
2. Why do people gossip?
3. Advantages of gossiping
4. Downside of gossiping
5. Are you a tattler, a busybody, a gossiper?