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Here’s an example of a habit I am trying to develop:

Habit of running on a regular basis.

Note, this time my goal is not necessarily to walk/jog/run for 21 or 30 days or so. My goal is to improve my stamina.

I run out of breath even if I have to run for 20 metres, or if I have to climb 20 stairs. So much so that I can not talk and it takes me quite a while to catch my breath.

This was to be a life long habit! As having good stamina helps in a lot of different aspects of life. That’s why it was necessary for me to develop a habit of regularly running first! Once I had developed the habit, then I could go ahead and try to perfect my technique.

Trick is to start slowly! Sooo ridiculously slow that you’d feel silly to skip a day. And do each step every single day! Remember the point is to develop a habit first! That can only really be done by consistency!

Week 1 – wear shoes, dress up, get out the door and then come back in

Week 2 – get dressed and go down the elevator and then come back up

Week 3 – walk 5 mins (could be on the treadmill in the gym in my building, or a walk outside)

Week 4 – walk for 10 mins

Week 5 – walk for 15 mins

Week 6 – walk for 15 mins with 2 30 sec jogs thrown in, so could be walk for 7 mins, jog for 30 secs, walk for another 7 mins, jog for another 30 secs, walk for another 5 mins for a total or 20 mins

Week 7 – walk for 20 mins with 4 30 sec jogs thrown in

Week 8 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 30 sec, then repeat until 20 mins are up

Week 9 – walk for 2 mins, jog for 2 mins, repeat until 20 mins are up

I could not complete week 9 properly due to low carb diet I was trying during the same time. I had incredible lack of energy during that period. So much so that I felt faint on many occasions even after 5 minutes of walking, even though I was eating a lot and drinking a lot of water. I was just careful to limit my carbohydrates.

Anyhow, had to stop mid way for a few days because of my diet experiment (more on that later). Following week I started again but I felt I had lost my rhythm.

I still wanted to build stamina though so started researching different ways of improving it.

Came across High intensity interval training (HIIT). This really appealed to me.

Basically, you jog for a few minutes, then go all out sprinting for 15-30 seconds, then light jog again until heart rate comes down, then sprint again and so on.

Week 9: total time 10 mins; with 2 30 sec 8 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 10: total time 10-15 mins; with 2 30 sec 9.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Week 11: total time 15+ mins; with 3 15 sec 10.5 mph sprints in between (treadmill) – 2 times a week; with 5+ mins of walking on rest of the days

Instead of following a strict regiment of jogging for 2 mins, then sprinting for 30 secs, I just sprint for 15-30 secs then wait for my heart rate to come below 140 then I sprint again, whether that’s with in 2 mins or 4 mins.

I’m finding that it’s hard to really sprint very fast on a treadmill. I feel like I am going to fall down!

So, next session I’ll try HIIT outside!

Motivation is an essential ingredient of success. Most of the time when we fail to achieve our goals is because our motivation fire burns out. The challenge is always trying to stay motivated until our goals are achieved. I have found one way to stay motivated is to continuously read motivational quotes.

Now how does that apply to gossiping? As you go through your day and meet the people you regularly meet there is a chance you may slip back into your old behavior of gossiping. Everyone knows you by who you were before you started off on this no gossiping pilgrimage. If you were a gossiper, then people expect certain responses and stories from you. When all of a sudden you stop that they are bound to suspect something. You can play it cool and just seem interested in all the gossip without really contributing and I can tell you that this works quite well.

There will be times that you will get very frustrated with someone. Maybe someone’s taken credit for the work you’ve done, or you’ve just found out that someone has been bad mouthing you behind your back, or you just feel like gossiping. At times like these you have to remember your goals! It’s times like these that divide boys from men. This is where you should muster enough will power to get your back on track.

I have collected a list of quotations about gossiping which I found to be very helpful in reminding me of my goals and why I stopped gossiping in the first place. Here they are. Hope you enjoy them and can find them motivating you to stop gossiping as well.

“When of a gossiping circle it was asked, What are they doing? The answer was , Swapping lies.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.” – Jewish Proverb

“Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers

“What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.” – Chinese Proverb

“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.” – Irish saying

“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends – you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller

“He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still the deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.” – Mark Twain

“When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.” – Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

“No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” – Bertrand Russell

“ The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.” – Frank A. Clark

“The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.” – Unknown Author

“It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and the narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik

“It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people’s business.” – Dolley Madison

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” – Richard Steele, Sr.

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.” – Erica Jong

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn

“Journalism is organized gossip.” – Edward Eggleston

“Who brings a tale takes two away.” – Irish Proverb

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” – Lisa Kirk

“ The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.” – Napoleon I, Maxims

“Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.” – Earl Wilson

“The biggest liar in the world is They Say.” – Douglas Malloch

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” – Benjamin Franklin

To say that the past seven days have been an eye opener would be an under statement. I really enjoyed going without gossiping. In my previous posts I mentioned that it was becoming easier to stay without gossiping. In the past few days I’ve noticed the opposite.

Up until day 4 of this challenge I was feeling very good through out the day and felt annoyed if someone wanted to get me involved in any kind of gossip. On days 5, 6 and 7 I felt inclined to gossip. It was like this strong force urging me to go ahead and gossip. It’s like an addiction! If you are trying to give up chocolate for instance, sometimes all you want is a little piece, that’s all!

I think it might be due to getting frustrated with work and certain people. Also, gossip around me was going overwhelming and it would have taken me back into the vicious circle if I hadn’t relied heavily on my will power. It took a lot of discipline to stay on course but I really enjoyed it. Like trying to give up smoking and still going out for smoke breaks with your smoke buddies. It makes it just a little bit more challenging.

Overall I think this habit is a keeper. I am going to go ahead and adopt this habit. It feels wonderful to live without criticizing and bad mouthing people. Even before I wasn’t that bad but still this is the better me.

Another side benefit of this challenge is that I have started to treat people differently. If someone on another team makes a mistake, instead of criticizing and complaining, now I understand that they’re humans after all and mistakes happen. Then I just move on. No whining, no complaining, no gossiping!

I used to wonder about people who achieved great success. I wanted to know exactly how they thought, what they felt and how they would approach goals differently than average people.

Once I was listening to Mike Ferry, real estate trainer, and he said that there were three things in life that if you could do those, you could do anything. That was a really exciting time for me since now I was going to find out the real secret and yardstick by which I could measure myself. Following were the three things according to him:

1) keep your house clean

2) manage your health

3) manage your finances

I have to say that I was a little disappointed. I expected something out of this world. I was ready with the right emotions and expressions, ready to stand up in awe and applaud but I was a little under whelmed by his statement.

He went onto challenge people to try it out. All I have to say is that I am still trying it out. It just seems easy at first glance but every single one of these is very challenging. Take for instance the discipline required to keep your house clean. There is just so much involved even in keeping the house clean day by day, every single day. If you break down the topic of health and finances you can realize how difficult this really is.

But since time is passing anyways, may as well get started. Slowly but surely we can achieve success in these areas. One small step at a time. With each small step successfully accomplished we will definitely be better off than we are now.

If we do not choose our goals, life will choose them for us. And it is a very exciting journey.

Like Earl Nightingale used to say “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

Following are some of the ways I have used to build my self-discipline up to a respectable level. I am still no where close to where I would like to be but I am still ahead of where I was a few years ago.

• washing my dishes right after I had used them – since I was quite weak, I could not imagine doing this for 30 days straight, so I started off with a goal to follow this for the next 100 times and stop after that. That got me started and I continued this non-stop for the whole year
• no sugar in coffee or tea – again the goal was to follow this for the next 100 cups of coffee or tea, without a break but I ended up doing this for over two months and it’s been around two years and I still drink tea without sugar
• sit-ups every single day for 30 days
• no reading self-help books for 30 days – I was reading too many of the books and not taking enough action. One day I decided that I knew enough so it was time to stop reading anymore and start taking action
• making my bed every single day for 30 days
• not watching any t.v. for 30 days – continued this for over two months
• working out every single day for 30 days – continued this for over two months without a single break, even though a lot of the times I would go to the gym around 1-2 a.m. while having to wake up around 6 a.m. the next morning to go to work
• going to the gym and doing cardio every single morning before going to work for 30 days I continued this for over two months
• going to work at 7:30 every day instead of 8:30-9 a.m. for 30 days- continued this for over two months as well
• studying for 15 minutes a day, learning new ways of improving my job, for 30 days – continued this for over two months, moving to studying for 30 minutes daily after the first 30 days
• folding my clothes right after they have dried, for 30 days – still doing it
• unloading the dish washer right after the dishes have been washed and dried – another 30 day goal and I am still doing it
• ironing my clothes every night for the next day – 30 day goal and I am still doing it
• shower/shave/bathe every single day for 30 days – I used to shower but not shave every single day so this was a challenge as well but I continued for over a year
• learning about real estate market for 30 days by spending 30 minutes daily – continued this for over two months as well
• talk to every single person who serves me for the next 30 days – this was one of the toughest since sometimes I would be in a line up at a cafeteria and I would have to yell to talk to the servers on the other side but still managed for 30 days
• read 50 pages of a book every single night – this is quite tough especially if you’re working full time and you are not a speed reader
• cold calling – speak to 10 people every single day for 30 days regarding real estate – continued this and then increased to 15 people and eventually 20 people every day
• door knocking – again talk to minimum of 10 people every single day for 30 days regarding real estate – continued this and at the end was speaking to around 20 people every day
• throw garbage out as soon as the bag is full and replace a new bag in the garbage bin – initially 30 day goal but served me so well that I decided to stick to it
• do 5 sets of chin ups in my backyard every single day for 30 days – this was a few years ago and was quite challenging as well since there was not a proper chin up bar. I was doing chin ups in the garage which was at the back end of our property. Sometimes I would go there in the middle of the night and little animals running around there and got kind of scary. But continued for over two months
• do push ups every single day for 30 days – still doing them
• do chin ups every day except weekends for 30 days – I am still doing them. Actually there isn’t a proper chin up bar so I am doing them in the washroom stall at my work. The bar that the stall doors are attached to. Hopefully it doesn’t break any time soon
• keep all my receipts in separate envelopes for each month – this is amazing when it comes to organization so still doing it
• keep track of all my expenses by writing them down every single day – still doing them, quite an eye opener

These are the only ones I can remember right now. Some of these I kept on doing because they felt so good and were quite helpful, while others I stopped after my initial goal was reached. It’s also a good way to see if a certain habit is worth keeping.

Just doing stuff like this has built a solid foundation of self-discipline in me. Right now if I wish to do something, I just go ahead and do it instead of trying to motivate myself or finding reasons not to. I usually test theories out myself instead of wasting time deciding whether they’re good or not. I think that is the best way to really find out for sure. Something that might have worked for someone else will not necessarily work for you, so just fold your sleeves and get to work and before you know it you will be done. If it works then great, if not then still you have learned that much more about yourself.